this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
