i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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