everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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