omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
