I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
