What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
