Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
