Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
