i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
