I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
