Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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