I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
