even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
