Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
