I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
