; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
