Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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