i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
