i don't like sucking hair
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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