You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
