So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
