It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
