Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Be still, my beating vagina.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
