Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Buhtt sex?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
