i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
home. puking in laundry basket.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
