and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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