do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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