Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
