i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
My vagina is officially offended.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
