On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You were trust falling into bushes
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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