Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
