Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
