she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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