I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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