We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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