Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
