so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Randomize
