i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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