11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
