I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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