Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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