you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
