and you said cock pushups were impossible
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
