Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
