New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
