i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
