You made me cry and you don't even care
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Randomize
