We're facebook friends in real life
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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