i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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