I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
