I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
